Relationships were always something I craved, not just romantic ones, but good friendships too. With low self-esteem and body image issues, I believed I wasn't worthy of the love depicted in movies. Growing up watching Maniratnam movies, I pictured my own perfect love story. Naive and young, I didn't understand how movies rarely reflect reality, and the complexities of relationships are often ignored.

Finally, after years of struggling with self-love, I found someone – or at least, what I thought was love. The initial stages were blissful; someone saw me in a way I couldn't see myself. However, as the relationship matured there were a lot of fights, in retrospection I feel like they were screaming red flags. These fights turned into shaming, swearing, and even threats of leaving me.

Terrified of being alone, I convinced myself to completely change who I was to fit my partner's world and needs. With each change, my body image worsened, and my self-confidence was lost entirely. Even when I recognized the relationship's toxicity, I felt powerless to escape.

Attempting to communicate, I suggested couples therapy, only to be met with further shaming. I was labeled "high maintenance" and told to work on my "issues." Believing this, I started therapy for the wrong reasons. Little did I know, this single step would become a turning point. For the first time in my life, therapy was a space where the focus was entirely on me. There was no judgment or shame, just a safe space to share my deepest fears and vulnerabilities. While I initially wanted to fix the relationship, therapy provided a crucial perspective: some things are simply beyond my control, and I am not responsible for another person's actions.

With this knowledge I felt encouraged. I started working on myself and slowly built my confidence with SELF-LOVE being the main ingredient here! It was not a simple upward graph but I had several low moments. With each set back I was able to bounce back stronger. Ultimately, I cut ties with my partner and found a meaningful, healthy relationship - with myself. It's true: a good relationship with yourself is the foundation for healthy relationships with others.

With lots of self-love,

Anonymous

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